The green eyed gal

I have I spent a decent amount of time today working in this blog post. Thinking about what message for parenting and/or teaching I wanted to share today. Because it's my fall break, that also meant I spent to much time on Facebook. I saw lots of beach and vacation pictures and sadly, I felt my eyes turn a little green. 

Then this afternoon, after taking Annie to go use her gift cards and buy things she didn't need, we had the following conversation. 

Her: I'm so tired of seeing vacation pictures. 

Me: well, if it makes you feel any better, I think most of the people I see are shivering. 

Her: (laughing) true 

Later...

Her: my friends went to the beach together and didn't invite me. 

Me: what would you have said if they did?

Her: I probably couldn't have gone, but I wouldn't be jealous because at least they would have asked. 

Several other omens occurred today that made me jealous of friends for the following reasons:

1. Perceived better credit, income, money management, savings, etc

2. Less kids 

3. More (perceived) free time

4. Personal recognition/achievements at work 

5. Reaching/pursuing personal goals

6. Hanging with mom/siblings

7. Bigger/better houses

None of these speak anything to whether or not I have a great life, kids, family, etc I have a great life, wonderful kids and an awesome family. 

But to be real and fair, this is part of being human. We think whatever is on the other side of the grass, is better than what is right in front of us. And there may be parts of that life that we might like for a minute or two, but ultimately, we would go back to our own lives. 

I feel terrible for new moms. They have it the worst in all of this, I think. We've got seasoned moms sharing what worked for them as thought get thje it is holy truth. Their own mother and/or mother-in-law, or more, sharing what worked for them as though it is holy truth. Then there's the physicians and sadly, Pinterest and the Internet. There's no way to navigate that and not come out feeling like you're doomed before you even start. 

Is there a way to never get jealous? Maybe not. But I think if we can find a way to encourage each other, choose our goals carefully and work towards them; we might start to feel better about all of it. And if you're a new mom or dad and you're reading this, please know whatever it is you do to care for your child, it's exactly right. Do what works best for you and your family and you should come out just fine. 

A Recap on the Bat Mitzvah

A little over 2 years ago, I shared all the planning that was going in to getting ready for Annie's Bat Mitzvah. It was such a beautiful day!

So many friends and family came to help us celebrate Annie's great accomplishment.

When we first started out on this journey, we really didn't know Megan, the girl with whom Annie shared her Bat Mitzvah, and her family. Now, I can't imagine my life without them.

Here's some of the things we did:

For the service we wrote our own program. It had some information about the girls and specifics to their service, a lot of information about our synagogue and some great ideas about things our visitors could do while they were in Memphis. If you would like a copy for your Bar or Bat Mitzvah, email me!

We also made busy bags and coloring programs for the service. This was a HUGE part of having a really great day! The kids who came to the service all had a way to engage with the songs that are a regular part of the service, but the coloring pages were pictures of what was happening in the same order that things were actually going on!

For the luncheon following the service, we invited family to Central BBQ. We had posters of each girl for family to sign and paper and crayons on the tables to keep the kiddos occupied. Flowers acted as center-pieces for a few of the tables and the whole experience was warm and special.

For the party, we headed to the pool! A inflatable projector screen made it possible to share pictures of the girls and we grilled burgers and hot dogs! We had custom cups printed as a party favor, and really got to enjoy a big birthday celebration!

If you are interested in the weekly to-do lists for the last couple of months of planning, I am working on a DIY workbook! If you are interested in being one of the first to know about it, please let me know, by emailing me here.

Here's a few pictures of the great day!

It was a great day, beautifully photographed by our dear friend, Hiedi Walter. If you would like to have her photograph your family, please email her here.

Tuesday equals second monday?

I don't know about you, but the start of school for 3 of my children and teaching takes a lot out of a person. There are days that I feel like I'm really on the ball and on top of things, and then there are days that I feel mentally, physically and emotionally exhausted. Do you have those days?


Since losing my mom, I spend a lot of time feeling like something is missing in my life. And there is, it's my mom. That's not news. I don't know if that feeling is ever going to go away. Some people say that the pain of losing someone you love will not be as strong as time goes on, I'm not sure if that is true or not. While I can talk about my mom with friends, family, my students, even strangers, without getting all teared up, I don't miss her less. Maybe I'm more comfortable with the loss than when it first happened?

Right now, I'm having a hard time. Not only am I missing my mom and having some general morale issues with being a teacher, I'm actually and acutely jealous of my friends right now as a result of my life choices. Please do not think I am say I regret my children. That is not what I am saying. I am saying that I'm looking at my friends who have one or two children and I'm remembering the simpleness of that compared to where we are now and I'm missing the more simpler part of my life. I'm sad for my friends who are struggling to get pregnant. I truly do not understand why I can get pregnant so easily and they cannot. How is that fair? What is it about my family that makes it so that I lose so many people I love in such a short time, and have 5 children without much effort? Why do my friends get to watch their parents grow VERY old and I don't? Why do I get to have 5 kids and some of my friends can't have even one? How does that make sense? Some people say it's G-d's way, but that leaves me feeling lost. So, I'm not sure what the answer is and that frustrates me.

Some people read my blog or see me in person and think that I have it all together. Please believe me when I say, that I so don't. I work hard at a few things that are important to me and I make the required effort at the others. Organizing and planning are things that I enjoy doing. Checklists make me feel like I am in control of the situation I am in, even if I'm not. I do not have a clean house, but I have a clean classroom. My space is organized at school because it is more conducive to learning and a fast-paced environment. My home is slightly more chaotic because I do not have imminent domain. My kitchen, bathroom, laundry area, well, my whole house; is not immaculate, but my children are well fed, they have clean clothes, they are bathed and they are loved.

Is it perfect? No. 

Does it work for us? yes.

For now, let's celebrate each other's good things. I'm going to try to be grateful for my kids today. I'm going to try to look for a silver lining and work on cleaning my house this afternoon, since I carved out some time to do it. I'm going to share with a friend who isn't getting pregnant, how much I love her. Will I be able to fix it for either of us? Probably not, but I'm hoping a coffee and a hug will let her know I care about her. Hopefully, cleaning a room, with my checklist and hugging my friend will help us both.

Fancy Baby Pictures

Those who know me personally, can tell you that splurging on "fancy newborn pictures" is not really my thing. But when your professional photographer friend wants to take pictures of your sweet newborn, it's really hard to say no!!

So, friends, here is Georgia's photographic debut!

If you love these pictures and want some of your own, please talk to my friend Kellie Conlon!! She does great work, is really sweet and accommodating with the kiddos and really makes beautiful pictures! Here's a link to her site.

Seriously. A-M-A-Z-I-N-G!!!

Call her. You won't regret it. I only wish I had done maternity pictures with her!! But, hopefully, she will be doing our Holiday Pictures!!

Community Values

Today was a busy day. And it's not over yet!

It was the start of the fall swim season with a meet 30 minutes away. This pool is one I enjoy because they have a front "lawn" where my girls can run around while we wait for my oldest daughter's next event. It was rather chilly today, so we ended up moving inside the building. Still space to move, but not as much as we like to use. I got to have a great conversation with a mom friend who I have not been able to talk with in a while. Her kids swim on the same team as my daughter and I really appreciate her perspective on things. 

We came home for lunch, naps and getting ready to go to events #2 and #3. Event number 2 was the Homecoming Fall Festival and 5k at my high school. Each year this event gets better and better. More booths, more kids coming out, more teachers/administrators participating and (most importantly, I think) more alumni coming out! My swim team sold "This is Sparta" yard signs to raise money for going to state and lots of students and alumni friends came out and participated! (photos by the 3 year old!!)

Event number 3 was Annie running in the Zombie 5k. My cousin Greg is a runner and offered to help her train for the St. Jude Half Marathon in December. When she said she wanted to run in today's race, I knew I wouldn't be able to but she asked Greg and he seemed delighted to do it. They had a great time and she finished well! Beating her PR by 1mibute and smashing her goal time today by 5! 

A photo finish for sure!!

In the midst of all of this, we realized I forgot to buy Brauts for dinner tonite! So instead it was grilled cheeseBLTs and fries. Trust me when I say, they were amazing! 

It was great to sit around the table with my whole family and hear everyone talk about their experiences with everyone today. 

Tonite, I'm heading back to my school to serve my time as a dance chaperone. In hoping not to be there too late, but I'm excited for the dance to have returned! 

What's the point of all this? Community. 

We all want our kids to feel safe. We typically want them to ha e fun, make friends and enjoy life. But through it all we want them to grow in a community that is strong, diverse and encouraged and nurtured them to develop into their best self. Today's event have several different communities, but ones that I'm grateful to be a part of. Communities I'm proud to see my children be a part of. Today I watched my students play with my children and my students were all having a great time sharing great experiences. It may be one of the greatest gifts of being a teacher and a mom. I'm proud to support both of these communities. 

What are you proud of in your communities? How are you helping to nurture positive experiences for your kids? 

Remember the duck? Be the duck

I was supposed to have a play date with a friend this afternoon. She has a 2 year old and a 3 week old baby. Life feels very tough for her. 

I was bringing my son, my girls and the baby. 4 kids in tow. We were 10 minutes late, but we were there. 

Approximately 45 minutes after our planned meeting I got a text that she had just gotten to her 2 year old daughter's school. Almost 20 minutes away, easily. 

We decided to try again for our play date. 

Tonite, I had a short, quick errand to run and I offered to bring her coffee. No answer. I went home instead. 

About an hour later I received this message:

"So I'm not good at checking my phone and I just saw this. Currently we have s clean house, 2 clean kids, a full dog, 1 nursing baby, and 1 toddler wanting milk but will have to wait bc daddy's working. Thank you for the offer! Seriously, you're my hero for doing this w 5. You always seem organized and together. I don't even feel like I can keep my life together when it's just me!"

And this was my reply:

With this message:

"That's my bedroom. I just discovered lice in Dillys hair. Again. After she cut 3 more chunks out. Again. And she's wearing a pull-up because I'd rather spend $5/mo than risk getting peed on even 1 more time. I have a minimum of 5 loads of laundry to do and at least a load of dishes. I need to sweep and swifter all over my house. I don't do this any better than anyone else. But I try to recognize that teaching my kids to roll with life will be better than freaking out over laundry and dishes. You're doing great and I'm excited for you that baby is here and you're figuring out your new normal. It's a challenge for us all! Keep pushing."

Friends, I promise, it's tough. But I also promise our kids are growing up right in front of our faces and they're going to leave us one day. If you need help planning something, ask, or check my blog to see if I have a tutorial. If I don't and you want my help, ask. If I do, use it!!

Help each other. Offer support. Fold a friend's laundry. Open a door. 

Help. Each. Other! 

I'm pregnant?!?!

As of 12:00am on November 8, 2014. I am 10 weeks pregnant with my 5th child.

Normally, most pregnancies are met with excitement, however, I have some very raw, very real mixed emotions right now.

I live in Tennessee and this past Tuesday, the people of the state of Tennessee voted to allow legislature to regulate abortion. And yes, to most readers, talking about abortion when you are stating that you are pregnant with your 5th child would sound odd. I am aware.

I am not intending to terminate this pregnancy. Though I did think about that for a brief time.

What is bothering me is that I now have the potential to lose my right to access a safe abortion in this state. More importantly, my daughters have the potential to lose their right to access a safe abortion in this state. And that, my friends, is scary stuff.

In terms of my family and the last 10 weeks. Well, let's suffice it to say that we have had a lot going on and this was not on the radar. Geoff is looking for a new job, something he can make into a career; Annie is recovering from yet another injury, Jonas is trying to find his spot, and the girls are both blossoming in leaps and bounds! Lissy has taken an interest in learning to read and Dilly is working towards being completely potty trained. Needless to say this is a big jump.

In the midst of all of this I have been putting a lot of effort into my work at school. I work diligently to get things done, not have a lot to bring home and really be focused in the classroom.

Needless to say, that's a lot going on and som decisions will have to be made about howuch one woman can actually be responsible for. I think it may be time to cut back and start saying no. 

I keep you posted...
 

Time to get this right/write

I've been spotty at best with my blog posting. It's about to get real y'all. This summer is filled with swim team for Annie new adventures for the little girls, Jonas getting ready for football in the fall and me teaching summer school...and training for my first full marathon in December!

Not sure if I'll stick to my old post schedule, but I'm back on the wagon, so to speak. It's all gonna be here!!!

Today's lissy's actual birthday, so I'll be sure to give you a recap of that! Can't believe baby #3 is 2!!!

Daddy dressed Me!

One of the greatest highlights of my day, is getting pictures from my husband of our kiddos! Since he has the babies all day long, by himself, I don't always get to join in the fun of picking out cute clothes for our little babies!

Here are a few of the sweet pictures he has sent me over the past few weeks.

I really like this one of the babies sitting in the toddler chair together! It's a chair full of baby!!!

 

Geoff was really proud of this outfit, tie-dyed onsie, purple jacket and pink snuggly sweatpants...seriously, do these children get any cuter!?!?!?!?

Lissy is quite proud of her climbing abilities. I however, am loving these overalls! So far, she and Annie have each worn them and every time it is so cute!!!

 

I still love how cute she is in the peace sign tshirt and she (and the big kids) really enjoyed the challah Geoff made. It had a cream cheese filling rolled into it before the whole thing was braided into a round challah. Seriously, it was amazing.

And of course, who wouldn't love a child wearing a fabric headband. She looks like a hippie baby and it so cute!

I feel like I should be asking her when she's going to clean the toys up!

Happy Friday!
 

2K dinners are the best

Phone call on 11/8/2012: Caroline to Rachel
C: I miss my baby (Lissy)
R: OK, come see her any time you want.
C: But I can't!
R: Sure you can.
C: I think you need to come over here soon, because we miss yall.
R: Ok. When?
C: My mom says to come on Sunday.
R: Ok, how's 5pm?
C: Perfect!
R: And it'll be close to my birthday!!!
C: Yeah, we can celebrate!!!
R: ok.

Text message received on 11/11/2012 at 2:58pm from Caroline:
"Please arrove promptly at 5. I miss you all terribly."

Doing our 2K dinners is always a highlight.We get to see everyone in one place, have a big bonding session and eat too much food. It's always fun to watch Lissy walk around and talk to everyone and try to go up the stairs. She's starting to have such a personality. And last nite, even though she didn't feel well, she still waved and said "bye" to everyone as they were leaving. It was so sweet to see!

A while back I borrowed Kathleen's favorite kitchen towel so I could figure out how to make them myself. It took a while for me to get up the courage. But a couple weeks ago we ordered the fabric for her towels...so I had to get going. And since we were going to their house for our 2K dinner... well, it was time to put up or shut up! And thankfully, she loved them!!! They were much easier to make than I expected them to be and I loved the way they looked when they were finished.

Now, to get the babies healthy before winter kills us all!

Trick-or-Treat!

Halloween for us was a little bittersweet this year. In years past, my mom has been a big part of our Halloween night, seeing the kids in costume, having dinner, or some other fun event. This was our first Halloween without her and it certainly resonated.

Since I had class, the plan was originally that Geoff would take the kids over to a friends house and they would all go trick-or-treat together as a big group. However, that challenge presented new challenges and ultimately didn't happen.

I was really excited to take the kids trick-or-treating since it was MelissaJane's first year to actually be able to walk up to a door and do the whole thing herself. (She's got so much personality and is so cute, how could anyone resist the idea of seeing her!?!?!?)

So, we drove over to my parents' house where there were of course, two GrandPumpkins! Took the requisite pictures and off we went!

She totally got the hang of it! She loved carrying her hot pink pumpkin bucket, required both Annie and myself to hold her hand and loved waving bye to everyone at their doors. I promise it was the most adorable thing anyone saw that nite!

Something to celebrate!

It's always nice to be able to share good news!

We got the test results from Dilly's chromosome test...she does not have Trisomy 23, also known as, Down's Syndrome. We are so grateful for this small blessing, but it does still leave a few questions that will need to be answered. For now, we will be monitoring her with our doctor over the next few months and if necessary we will run the applicable tests...But for the moment, we get to have smooth sailing. (Remember, when you have kids, you just never know!)

 Annie goes today for her MRI of her foot to see if we can figure out what is going on with her foot. Think happy thoughts that this saga ends soon!