1.13.2017

A few thoughts on Prayer

I know many of you have been following the blog recently for the start of the chapters to my book. But, I wanted to share this with you...

A story about my own personal past with people saying, "I'm praying for you (or so in so)." I shared it tonight with a friend after he told me that he and his prayer group prayed for me and my family. "For what it's worth," he said. Here's what it's worth to me. 

When my mom was in the hospital dying of breast cancer, she got sick fast and we couldn't let people in the room anymore. At first it was her request for sleeping and then it was because of how sick she was. So people would sit in the lobby and pray for her and I would get so mad at them. Mostly because I knew they couldn't cure her. And it just pissed me off. Really deep down.

Over the course of the 22 days, over 100 friends said that they were praying for her; via Facebook, at the hospital and around memphis, probably even the globe. The night she died was easily the most peaceful and oddly beautiful night we had had. 

My sisters and I read to her and said our Havdallah and Hanukkah, it was the 4th night, prayers. And we all kissed her goodnight the way she would us. And each of us had some time with her. Geoff and I decided to go downstairs to the cardiac surgery waiting room where the hospital chairs turned into beds and get some sleep. We took baby Lissy with us and quickly went to sleep. 

And my mother drifted quietly away from us in her sleep that night.

The next morning, her best friend, who had stayed with us since it had started was sitting with me. And she looked at me and said, "wasn't that so gentle and peaceful?" And I agreed.

And she said, "you know. It takes a whole lot of prayer to make something so awful seem so peaceful." She had no idea when I was hugging those "prayer warriors", disingenuously thanking them and smiling at them; I had the nastiest thoughts going through my head towards those very kind, well meaning people. And from then on, I have had heartfelt absolute appreciate for anyone who ever said they were praying for anyone I even remotely thought maybe possibly might need help. 

So I assure you, your prayer or prayer list or prayer group, is worth a whole heck of a lot. At least to me.

For what it's worth. 

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